Trust is a crucial factor, a main pillar in any relationship. Many relationships have broken up over trust issues. Once broken, trust is very difficult to repair and rebuild, so it has to be guarded carefully and constantly nurtured. Trust requires the right conditions and environment to sustain a relationship through highs and lows. If partners trust each other in a relationship, there is no guarantee that it will continue to stay that way. You can never trust enough, nor can you take it for granted. You have to constantly build on it.
However you can not expect a relationship to be long and satisfactory without trust. Any relationship has to understand that you are trusting yourself to this person, giving them them the ABILITY to hurt you, but trusting that they wont.
Trust grows over time. People are complex, broken beings therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust and/or be truthful in a relationship. But, people have the capacity and the ability to change and to grow in trust and truthfulness. Now many trust issues in a relationship stem from a previous relationship in which a person was hurt. Alot of times people foreget that trust needs to be combined with a willingness to forgive and grows best in an environment of acceptance and love. Which means you can expect to have a healthy relationship if you are bringing issues from the previous one.
Example: My previous relationship with my ex boyfriend, he was damaged, well thats saying it nicely, but he came to me damaged, now being how I am, Im a patient person, and so I was like okay, we can work with this, he just needs time to deal with some of these underlying issues. Little did I know until later that, those underlying issues would cause MAJOR issues within our relationship because he had not gotten over his trust issues. Every time we got into it, or something happened that "reminded him of his ex" it was a huge battle and the steady mantra became "Im not going to be done like that again." Mind you it was over basic things like if I missed a call, didnt return a text back soon enough. It got to the point that I had to tell him "Hey Im about to take a shower so if I dont answer my phone thats why" All because of his trust issues. I mean, how can you be in a relationship with someone and you are steadily mistrusting them? Despite everything I did he still didnt trust me. He would say "I dont like when you do this it reminds me of my ex" So I would make sure not to do it, but it was always something else. In the end it completely ruined our relationship.
Now Im not going to let that previous experience ruin anything I have in the future but I did teach me how important trust is, without trust you have nothing, because it can take even the most minute of issues and turn them into huge problems with devestating effects. Mistrust breeds: Jealousy, regret, anger, heartache, resentment, so many negative emotions that can eventually eat you up as well as your relationship.
I personally wouldnt enter into a relationship with someone whom I feel cant trust. Now, trust is also in the eye of the beholder. Now if weve entered into the relationship with honesty even with the negative aspects, we have something to build upon. Trust is a 2-way street. Each person in a relationship needs to be investing in a relationship in order to build trust. In relationships we steady look for reasons to mistrust someone instead of asking the question...why am I so worried? If everytime your partner is out with friends, doesnt return a text quickly, or if there are people of the opposite sex that you dont know around them, why is youre first reaction to get upset, or suspect? What are your reasons for feeling this way? Sometimes you have to sit back and figure out what is it that is causing my mistrust? Because if this person is doing something that causing reasonable doubt in your relationship, then perhaps its not meant for you to be in a relationship with this person.
I said it before, and Ill say it again, you cannot be in a relationship with someone you dont trust, its pointless. A relationship without trust is pointless and doomed to fail.
Now I know some people are not trustworthy and not be able to build a healthy relationship. No matter how you might trust in a relationship if that other person is not willing to make the same investment that you are. That doesnt mean that all people cant be trusted, and the next person is going to be untrustworthy. Realize every relationship is as different as the people embarking upon them.
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