Thursday, September 30, 2010

8 REASONS TO DATE A WHITE MAN

So this morning I was listening to the radio and they were discussing an article that was posted here (http://madamenoire.com/22660/8-reasons-to-date-a-white-man-30188/) I was really amused by the closed mindedness of this article, especially since the author states quite clearly that she is currently married to a black man. Anywho I just thought I would share this and my thoughts with you. The reasons were in no particular order so I am just going to comment them as they were in the article. These are the supposed reasons we should "give vanilla a chance"



 
1. They open wide instead of down low


Gay White men tend to be more forthcoming about their sexuality with family and friends. The down low phenomenon is less prevalent, which preserves the battery usage on your gaydar and relieves the stress of dissecting every male relationship.
Firstly white people have the same issues black people have, they may not be as pronounced but believe they have problems too. Secondly, the white community as a whole is not as closed minded as the black community. In the black community especially in the south, it is looked down upon if you are gay, as if you are some how less then a straight man. I dont know why that is, because half the time, you dont know whos gay in the black community, but when you do find out, all of sudden you looking at them differently, treating them differently. Being a black gay man is like being a pariah. He could be the ceo of a top company but you would still look at him crazy if he said he is gay. Im not justifying the lying about your sexuality Im giving you a reason. Is it any wonder if their lives as they know it will be turned around if they say something, why they keep it a secret? There are gay white men who live with that to, but as I said its not such a stigma in the white community as it is in the black community as a whole.

2. Not looking for someone to take care of them


Thanks to the absence of family, fathers and marriage in the Black community, a great number of our men have backward expectations when it comes to romantic relationships. A higher percentage of White men come from stronger family structures and more traditional gender roles, where the men seek to care for the women.
Okay once again, white kids grow up without daddies just like blacks kids, and just because you grew up in a traditional family doesn't mean you don't have relationship issues. I mean my ex came from a strong family, parent married over 30 years happy, big family with 5 kids, and he has the MOST trust commitment issues ever. Now Ive noticed that most men who didn't have a daddy now a days don't want to be that kind of man to their kids, they WANT to be a good dad. And usually when a man has commitment issues its because of a past issue, not because their daddy wasn't around. And what about black women with daddy issues because daddy wasn't around? I have a lot of friends from other racial background who have the same issues, and a lot of white friends who did have strong family structures who's parents were divorced and everything. So that statement is kind of sad. I know plenty of black men who want to be a MAN in their relationships, but black women don't appreciate that because hes not all "swagged down" like Elle Duncan from v103 stated this morning, and its true! No one wants to look at the "Nerdy" guy who wants to take you out and treat you good, you want the "trey songz" looking guy who just wants a nut, I'm sorry to say.

3. Attend and graduate from college


Black women are graduating from college and Black men continue to drop out. As a result, degrees become intimidating when dating Black men. In White culture, education is valued and expected. Thus, White men have no problem dating educated women with advanced degrees. It is impressive rather than intimidating
I don't know what black culture shes talking about but where I'm from an education is something to be admired all the way around the bored, in all communities not just the white community, i know so many successful black men who have college degrees and even masters. I worked at a hospital and we have SEVERAL black successful ATTENDING doctors (head man in charge) So where does this statement come from? Once again women are generalizing that black men don't want a smart successful woman, perhaps you should start dating a black man with self esteem.

4. At least attempt to marry before making babies


For whatever reason, White men just don’t have children sprinkled all over the world like Black men. And, if they do, most of them were married to the mother at some point. Sure, they divorce but you can only divorce if you at least attempt a marriage.
This is a joke right? I come from a dominantly white town and it has the highest teen pregnancy rate for a city of its size in the nation. Secondly, why are you going to blame a man for something you can prevent? If you don't want to have a baby by someone its 2010 you can prevent it. There are just as many white men who have children out of wedlock as black men. Women need to stop blaming others for their mistakes, I mean seriously you re grown hop yourself on some contraceptives if you don't want to have a baby out of wed lock You're the one who decided to lay down with him without a ring on your finger. And my momma always said, when you lay down with someone remember there's a possibility they will be the father/mother of your future child.

5. They don’t glamourize ignorance


They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The “thug life” is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.
It doesnt matter what race you are to glamorize ignorance, rap and thug life arent the only form of ignorance. What about racist? What about men who just dont want a job. Men who believe women should be subserviant to a man? Men who are abusive? So you mean to tell me youd take all of that over a thug wanna be? Seriously?

6. Financial planning and stability


Black people, especially men, are always trying to shine—often spending more money than they have. White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money.
Its not a black mans fault if he doesnt know how to manage money, its his PARENTS fault ergo his BLACK mother. She probably didnt know how to manage money either. She said above it is based on a higher level of exposure and teaching. How is all that matters they know how to make better decisions? My dad is a black man and he is living in one of the most expensive cities in the nation, has a nice four bedroom house, and nice car, ect. If i need anything I can call him. My friends father owns two houses in Sacramento, CA, has four luxury vehicles, travels, and more, and when he retires he will have several million dollars and no debt. so how does that make him any less of a man? knows how to financially plan and more. My grandfather has not worked in twenty years and his bills are paid every month. Its all about teaching our youth and our children, how can they know if they  dont know its out there?

7. Have the ability to look beyond your past


Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? It’s because they don’t let the past hinder the present. Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.
Thats a flat out lie, because promiscuos black women think they shouldnt get an ex player, whats the mantra "once a dog always a dog?" My Bestfriend was a male ho, period, he was doing alot, but even he would say what you did before me doesnt matter as long as you arent doing it now. How do you know how a particular person will feel about your past. Do you really think a white man is going to be okay if your an ex whore? or youve slept with 50 men? no I seriously doubt that. Judge the person not the color.

8. Don’t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity


Intimidation and insecurity are two reasons for the rift between Black men and women. As a result of their insecurities and low self-esteem, Black men are intimidated by the strength of an educated and ambitious Black woman. Rather than seeing her as a strong teammate, she is a threat to their manhood. Thus, they feel the need to overcompensate. White men, on the other hand, are more secure. What Black men see as threatening is what makes a great wife and business partner to them.
You ever thought about how we talk to black men? Even I have had issues with my past relationships talking crazy to my man. If you talk down to someone, anyone its still hurtful, if you say he ain't shit, or he doesn't do this and that, how is that not a threat to him and his masculinity? I don't know very many black MEN who are intimidated by my mind and my strength, maybe boys, but not actual men. I have come to see they appreciate that in a women, someone who can carry her own but doesn't mine sharing the load and vice versa. Just like I know very many chauvinistic white men who don't see their wives as a partner but as a servant.

I honestly cant say where she got this information from, especially considering she is married to a black man. I truly feel this is her lashing out probably at an unhappy relationship, because if she was happy and satisfied with her relationship this BULL wouldnt be coming out. Im a single black female, and I LOVE my black men. Does it men i wont date outside my race? Of course I would, but i would never just give up on my black men, there are two many good ones out there.


Let me know your thoughts.  info@taylorcharisse.com









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